We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
