we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
