I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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