Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
