You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
