I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
