I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
