No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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