I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
