I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
