i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
