go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Can I color on your dick again?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
