My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
