so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
