Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
