You're completely useless in the revolution.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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