I'm gonna have a badass scar
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize