Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
