this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Operation Purity has been aborted
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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