ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
