physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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