All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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