don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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