Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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