Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
how does that bad decision feel?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
