Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
