I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Maybe he injected his testicle?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
