I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
