I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize