Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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