I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
