his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
