How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
