she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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