omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
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