I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
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She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
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We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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