I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
