Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
