Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
