She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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