honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Drunk is not a location!
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
