Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
