Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
wow bdsm is so cute
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
