a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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