So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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