So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
