I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
