I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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