That's intense
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
