I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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