i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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