Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
