Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I deserve this hangover.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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