After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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