At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
